22 Comments
Dec 28, 2022Liked by Iona Italia

God bless Bruce. Thank you for sharing. May I request you to write, if you deem fit, what if he had lived if his friends would have sensed his needs and flailing, and how he would have paid them back?

Expand full comment
author

It's always impossible to predict what might have happened. But I do wish he had felt able to be open about his situation and to accept his friends' help (which I'm sure would have been offered).

Expand full comment

This is so moving. I share your exact beliefs about the miraculousness of our lives, without the need for religiosity. I didn’t know Bruce, but I wish everyone could understand they are valuable.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Erin! ❤️

Expand full comment
Dec 28, 2022·edited Dec 28, 2022Liked by Iona Italia

On one hand, the rise of “professionalism” in the arts, which means you deliver a commodifiable product that has values that buyers will want on a commodifiable basis, and of broadcasting and publishing, as how we think the arts out to be done, have given us a lot of access to a lot of great creation. But they’ve done a lot of damage to art being a language that we all share. And they made a lot of people “failures” who are nothing of the kind. I am so sorry for your friend’s having internalized that, and for that having been part of why he died. The arts are one of the ways we love one another and love the world around us. To be able to call yourself a failure because your art isn’t broadcast or published widely enough for you to make a living at it is a sickness.

Expand full comment
author

As so often, you express it perfectly, Nat.

Expand full comment
Jan 12, 2023Liked by Iona Italia

Each time that a history like this appears, I feel I crumble inside remembering my friend.

She had several suicide attempts, I think me and my wife perhaps avoided a bunch giving her a friendly ear and time and love.

One day we lost contact with her while she was abroad, and this time she succeed.

Until this very day I feel paradoxically guilty and egotistic because I think I could have made more to avoid her ending, and at the same time think of myself as a self centered monster that didn't respected her decision or her pain.

Iona, as a follower, fellow human, and I guess, a person feeling the same kind of pain, my most sincere condolences and a big hug, because keeping alive the memory of your friend is biggest honour you can have for him.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Jorge. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That sounds very tough and your response is understandable. But please try not to blame yourself but to remember her with love and use the experience to inspire you towards compassion—and compassion must include compassion towards your past self.

Expand full comment
Dec 28, 2022Liked by Iona Italia

Thank you for sharing this story and your hard-won wisdom.

Expand full comment
author

My pleasure, Frederick.

Expand full comment
Dec 28, 2022Liked by Iona Italia

What a beautiful tribute Iona. And thank you for the reminders.

Expand full comment
author

My pleasure, Louise. Thank you for reading.

Expand full comment

Thank you for soldiering through six years to carve this out today. If we live long enough, we’ll all probably know someone who takes his own life. You give comfort. I hope you can take some, too.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you so much! It's actually a reposting of an earlier piece I wrote closer to the time and published elsewhere. (I alternate here between new pieces and pieces from my archives.) But I thought it was worth presenting to a new audience, as a good reminder. I do take comfort from Bruce's life and I don't resent his death anymore.

Expand full comment

Yeah (Theo here), I kinda knew it was a re-post, and you’ve said that you alternate pieces. That’s a great, rich way, to present. I’m so glad you don’t resent his death. Our Wisconsin friend, age 65, still seems to quake over her father’s suicide when she was 16. Not that you don’t, too.

Expand full comment
author
Dec 29, 2022·edited Dec 29, 2022Author

To be honest, I don't quake over it. When I remember Bruce, my feelings are overwhelmingly positive (even though I often cry). It's mostly at this time of year that he's on my mind. I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's father's suicide. That must have been devastating. I hope his memory is a blessing to her.

Expand full comment

Thank you Iona

Expand full comment
author

My pleasure, Robert.

Expand full comment
Dec 28, 2022Liked by Iona Italia

Thanks Iona for the beautiful words

Expand full comment
author

My pleasure, Gabija!

Expand full comment
Dec 28, 2022Liked by Iona Italia

Beautiful words Iona. Sorry for your loss.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Ari.

Expand full comment